“So…are you asking?” “Of course I’m asking.” “And do you consider yourself pretty open-minded?” “I do. I’m wondering if I’m going to regret this though. It’s kind of like a bedtime story.” “Ok…how do I put this…do you enjoy reading? As in literature that may be more titillating than the average bedtime story?” “Sometimes.” “Not offended by it?” “Not at all.” Confession time followed. I told her about my last decade submitting bedtime stories, with a bit more emphasis on the bed. “And you cook,” she added. “And I cook,” I responded. “I’m looking forward to speaking with you. Sweet dreams.” And so we both went to sleep. At least I did. I believed that she did too. That was a bit before one in the morning. Around 4:30 I was awoken by the sound of my cellphone vibrating. I was curious who and what it was at that hour. I looked. Another message. “Fuck! And I won’t say pardon my language, because I imagine you use that word a lot in your bedtime stories that you write. You left me hanging!. "Time to get moving Jess, breakfast waits for no man." I just want to sleep in Tony, Christ it's the middle of the bloody night, what are you, a flaming masochist?" Remember our promise Jess, don't shit in Ernie's face, he may be OK with us but don't put him in a position where he has to bring down the curtains on us." Yeah, I know. OK I'll go into my room."I started breakfast, soon there were stragglers drifting in. Seems like there were a few hangovers amongst them. Why didn't I feel sorry for them?Ernie arrived looking worse for the wear. "Stop you're smirking you young bastard, I sat up all night worrying about my little girl being with a letch like you." Bollocks Ernie, Jess told me you were asleep when your head hit the pillow and I'm not a letch, just a pure and simple country lad." We both had a chuckle over that remark. Jess chose that moment to come into the mess hall, "Good morning Daddy, merry Christmas. Did you enjoy yourself at Charlie's barbeque?" Too much Jess, too.
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